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 Post Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 11:18 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 17
"I solemnly swear, I am up to no good."

The last few weeks had been rather subdued in Alphonse' fair opinion. No riots had broken out, the Old ones seem to have lost their grip on the EH, Muck hobbits were bathing slightly more regularly. No longer was the Pantsless Pirate contained within the ports of Bright Forge and Midnight Sun as the kingdom had seen fit to bestow upon him a chain of office.

"Champion of the Emerald Hills," Alphonse sighed softly in his quarters, "Who in their right mind thought that was a good idea?" Fingers pressed against his temple, he closed his eyes in quite frustration. "Champion of the Emerald Hills, and everything is bloody boring around 'er," He continued to himself, "the Kingdom decided to hand me all this fancy power, and to do what with? Dark Tigger watches the treasury so no stealing to be done there. I've got the relics, but the blasted things won't work! And to top it off, that thrice damned she-fiend has ears in every Nevron-blessed corner of the Kingdom!"

Alphonse stalked across the, hands clasped behind his back, turning the old Bear claw ring he kept always on him. He looked up to his wardrobe and saw his neatly pressed Inquisitor's robe handing gently next to his usual Blue coat. "Bloody damn good that went," he spat toward no direction in particular. "No invasions to be had without an army, no building an army with Lady Forgebane ready with a cat's paw in every port." He would have loved to take on Tuk! again, but such things seem impossible with the current status of things.

He found his desk chair, a gift from his mentor, and took a seat, head splayed and eyes closed. He huffed and puffed at his desk, "I need adventure! I need excitement, I need..." The sound of rolling dice came to his ears. As his eyes raised, he took note first of the pair of bone dice that sat in front of him, 2 and 5 showing. Following up from the lucky pair, his eyes matched to the eye sockets of the skull the dice usually made residence in. The teeth looked wide for a moment, as if the skull was grinning. Alphonse's lips curled to mirror that of the macrabe paperweight, a feeling of dark glee raced up his spine and spread his shoulders as his neck twisted in personal satisfaction.

He took the dice, reverently, placed them to his lips as if kissing a holy relic, and returned to pupils to their home. "I thank you for Your Guidance and for Your Light," he spoke, his words filled with magic and honest faith. This had been a Radiant sign, and Alphonse had learned more and more to take those simple miracles, as he explained to himself, to be the acts of guidance. He took this particular sign to mean his luck was high, and now would be the time, if ever, to take a gamble. The only question was, what was there to throw his luck at?

A pecking came from the galley window, the beak belonging to a red-tinged hawk. The Pirate opened the window and brought the bird inside. Attached to it's leg was a small scroll bundled in a bit of twine. The bard found some bread and some water for the messenger, taking a moment to unravel the scroll. Inside was a picture of a pointy-eared black bird, rampant on an Emerald field. The words underneath read, "Plots are being made, and trouble will come to every door. Crisis breeds opportunity." It was only signed with, "a Friend."

Alphonse wrote a quick reply in a glad hand, and affixed the new message to the bird. As the wings spread into the open air, a soft melody found its place on the bards lips. It was a march, not a war march, but a happy, exuberant march, a song of victory. Words found themselves easy enough, as if the there was an inherent truth to them, but he never let them out. That would be a song he sang when all was over.

_________________
Mortuorum non custodiat Aurum
The Dead Keep no Gold



Glory to the Pirate's Inquisition
By the Light of the Radiant Skull


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 Post Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2015 11:00 am 
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Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:44 am
Posts: 17
A Report Furnished by the Office of Inquisition, Delivered by Messenger to High King Bjorn Banhammer

Dear High King Bjorn,

The following message synthesizes the information gained by the office so far. Methods will remain undisclosed until such a time as asked.

From "Jonos" of Bright Forge: Shortly following the Office summons, the man passing himself off as Jonos made his way into my hands, assuming to expect a "trial" of some sort to prove his "Innocence". Nevertheless, the Inquisitors under my command did their duty, I adding my own magic to the process. In short order, we ferreted the location of the true Jonos and have seen to his health and return. There appears to have been plans to replace the current monarch with the impostor during the next election. Unfortunately, the informant was "lost" during a less careful attempt to gain knowledge as to his master. No further information could be attained, save for the species, which will remain undisclosed for the time being."

From "Vanthys" of Midnight Sun: In a similar fashion to "Jonos", the "Vanthys" submitted himself to "Trial". Unlike "Jonos" this creature was far less susceptible to Charm Magic, meaning our information gathering took a more, shall we say physical, turn. True Vanthys was found and returned, to his family with clear instructions to tell no one of the switch. This is due to information pertaining to a second impostor who has yet to be revealed. For the time being, Vanthys will be under observation in order to catch any other in an attempt to contact. That said, it is unlikely given the seeming independent operations of these assailants. "Vanthys" will be kept in our care until such a time that we may be confident we have learned all we can. Our healers are making sure we do not repeat the same mistakes as with "Jonos".

From "Momo" and "Trey" of Mourningwood Glen: This turned out to be a simple mistake on our part. What we took for dastardly duties of Kingdom traitors, turned out to be only the simple awkward running around of youth. There secrecy and hidden doing are nothing out of the ordinary and they apparently were just simply attempting to keep their social lives far from their mother and father. No "Trial" was necessary as they were in fact the rightful citizens of the Emerald Hills they claimed to be.

From "Tomte" of Dryad's Den: Contact has yet to be established, though we have an Office agent keeping a close eye on activities in the area. For secrecy sake, the agent will remain undisclosed.

From "Crow" of Howling Plains: Ditto, though our agent may have other allegiances which may interfere with proper duty. Loyalty will be ascertained within the next few weeks.

From "Twat" of King's Point: Contact has been made, but met only with force and resistance. "Twat has not been taken in for questioning, nor does the Office currently have the strength to bring the potential Impostor to heel. Further action will need to be taken for the safety of the Kingdom. One might consider taking in the whole area for questioning given the overall resistance to simple, humble Kingdom requests."

-Alphonse de Oso, Pantsless Champion of the Emerald Hills

_________________
Mortuorum non custodiat Aurum
The Dead Keep no Gold



Glory to the Pirate's Inquisition
By the Light of the Radiant Skull


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